CUTTING TEETH

A tony preschool is plunged into chaos when a beloved teacher is murdered during—or because of?—a disturbing outbreak of bloodsucking among her otherwise adorable students.

What could be a more perfect and hilariously dark metaphor for privileged modern motherhood than Baker’s invention of “pediatric Renfield’s syndrome”? In Miss Erin Ollie’s class at the usually perfect Little Academy in Texas, many of the 4-year-olds have taken the age-appropriate problem of biting a step further: They bite for blood. Particularly, they crave the blood of their mothers, who decide collectively that this is a need like any other—although, admittedly, grosser and creepier—and that it will pass and, in the meantime, must be met. Attachment parenting at its finest! Any parent who has imagined that their young children are draining the life out of them will both get the joke and feel the (piercing) pain. When Miss Ollie turns up dead in the school supply closet, everyone wonders: Was one of the newly vampiric children involved? Three different moms—Rhea, Mary Beth, and Darby—provide rotating perspectives. Each has secret information about the day of the murder, and all three make misguided decisions designed to protect their kids. In keeping with the ruthless satirical tone, though, what they want to protect their kids from most isn’t bodily harm—it’s a bad reputation. Red herrings abound and clues are dispensed tantalizingly. The building social tension is so good that the murder mystery can feel almost unnecessary. Will it come back to bite readers in the end? In the meantime, Baker limns the fascinating ways parents in a community can be simultaneously at odds with and bonded to each other and how the pressure of parenthood makes crisis hard to define.

Gruesome, funny, jam-packed, sharp as baby teeth.