SANDCASTLES AND RAINBOWS II

Cosmic missions turn into a series of typical coming-of-age dramas in Myers’ novel, written in language intended to emulate that of today’s teens.

Outside of time and space is the Ethereal Universe, described by Myers as “a 24/7 kaleidoscope explosion, like your favorite EDM festival but on galactic steroids.” There, the Mental Beings Falin and Xin are trying to free brethren stuck in the Physical Universe, but a burst of energy separates them. As Falin floats through existence, he locks onto a planet called Naratu, which is either Earth under a different name or a planet exactly like it. He attaches himself to a newborn baby named Daniel and watches quietly as the child grows up. In school, Daniel shows prodigious powers that allow him to draw entire star systems by hand, “head down, pencil flying like a galaxy-brain Picasso,” but his incredible brainpower alienates him from other kids. Daniel struggles to fit in as he moves through different grades, and he eventually musters the courage to ask out his big crush, Alice, but this does not go well. Readers jump through time to see Daniel in the 10th, 11th, and 12th grades as he gains confidence and friends. His celestial powers remain mostly dormant, except for a few guiding messages from Falin and some out-of-this-world coding prowess. After high school, Daniel and his pals face personal crises while trying to make a living in the big city, while a larger existential crisis brews around them: the Mental Being Thron has slowly built an empire on Naratu. Why did Thron stay on the planet? “Bruh, because Thron’s out here straight-up body-hopping through the local wildlife,” explains the narrator. Naturally, Xin thinks that “Bro has lost the plot,” but can she and Falin accomplish their new mission?

Myers’ central conceit of ethereal beings trapped in the bodies of today’s social media–obsessed youth is a fun idea that calls to mind 1980s B-movies, such as Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure or My Stepmother Is an Alien. However, the unwieldiness of the plot quickly saps it of any enjoyment, as the cosmic beingsstep aside to make way for a parade of indistinguishable teens to bicker and fret about their crushes. There’s no clear throughline to Daniel’s story; he experiences typical adolescent feelings for several years, and then a random intergalactic showdown comes crashing into Earth—if it isEarth. What makes the novel confounding, however, is the author’s decision to write it entirely in “Gen-Z language,” stuffing seemingly every sentence with bothersome buzzwords and phrases such as vibes, grind, or “main character energy.” Characters are confused “like a buffering Wi-Fi signal,” shocked like “a plot twist in a Netflix series,” or focused “like [they are] tuned into a podcast.” Myers’ intention with all this never feels clear: If he’s satirizing the young generation, why do so for the entire book? It’s difficult to imagine that it will make young readers connect with it better, and older readers will probably disconnect early.

A teen drama distractingly styled after social media–speak that’s bookended by incomprehensible cosmic complications.