BLACK BOY SMILE

How a sexually and physically abused Black boy from Baltimore became a violent, wildly successful drug dealer—and then something else entirely.

Watkins has parceled out his life in earlier books, particularly The Cook-Up (2016), but here he shares different vignettes, showing off his homegrown storytelling style, often hilarious characterizations, and dead-on dialogue. From the moment he decided to hide the abuse he suffered at a summer camp for disadvantaged youth, he bought into a life of lying and repression of emotion. Though his success as a drug dealer led to a "a house big enough for two families, two Mercedes, a CL 600 and CLK to run errands in, and money busting out of my sweatpants pocket, my socks, the Nike boxes under my bed, my roof safe, and the closet in the stash house," his accumulated trauma blocked any possibility of happiness. One touching section contains the author’s close observation of the intense relationship between childhood friends Troy and Tweety. Though Watkins also craved "somebody I was willing to go crazy over,” he had convinced himself he didn't need anybody. When a nurse in the hospital loaned him Sister Souljah's The Coldest Winter Ever, Watkins became a reader overnight, beginning to see what he had done to himself by choosing the hardened heart and lies; why, as a Black man, he was compelled to do it; and what he had lost in the process. In response, he started writing, and some years later, he allowed himself to experience true love. Both exploded into his life like a geyser. The literary journey wasn't always easy, but his entrepreneurial obsession with making money drove him through every obstacle. Watkins does magic with brand names—in childhood, every house has "unlimited Crown Royal bags…Red Rooster hot sauce, Newport cigarettes and petroleum jelly”—and every character is nailed down by descriptions of their clothing, even the author himself, who often "surveys his fit.”

A startling and moving celebration of a brutal life transformed by language and love.