DAVE BARRY IS NOT MAKING THIS UP

Pulitzer Prize-winning Miami Herald columnist and funny guy Barry (Dave Barry Does Japan, 1992, etc.) has once again collected a bunch of goofy anecdotes. Barry and colleague Calvin Trillin are confronted by a stupid mugger, of whom Barry writes: ``The criminal's silliest move, in my opinion, was threatening to blow both our heads off. That would be an absurd waste of bullets. A much more efficient way to gain our cooperation would have been to simply blow Calvin's head off. I would then have cooperatively handed over Calvin's wallet.'' Barry knows exactly where he stands in the ranks of American journalists, noting that things like facts can get in the way of what he does, ``which is sitting around and thinking stuff up. This is what I mainly do, which is why I have been able to achieve a level of high-quality journalistic productivity, as measured in booger jokes, that a guy like David Broder can only dream about.''