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HOW TO COPE WITH SUBURBAN STRESS

Risky material met head on, in a courageous book that displays Galef’s considerable skills quite brilliantly. Prepare...

The wisecracking title scarcely hints at the depths of fear, grief and guilt plumbed with relentless energy in Galef’s latest (Laugh Track, 2002, etc.).

Its dual narrative tracks the parallel ordeals of Michael Eisler, a psychiatrist who resides in the upscale suburb of Fairchester and cultivates fantasies of leaving his “take-charge executive” spouse, Jane, and Ted Sacks, a computer-geek pedophile whose dreamy pursuit of nubile preadolescent boys gradually focuses on Michael and Jane’s “advanced,” moody, seven-year-old, Alex. Galef chronicles in generous and stinging detail Michael’s sullen marital unhappiness (he’s convinced the imperious Jane is also unfaithful), his raddled relations with variously troubled patients and his awkward failure either to discipline or reach Alex—who gradually emerges as a confounding mixture of sweetness and implacable cussedness. Meanwhile, the sad tale of Ted Sacks’s own victimization by his hateful father shadows and shapes his path to becoming an emotionless predator trolling X-rated websites and joining in lubricious chat-room exchanges, fuelling his chaotic sexual urges with junk food and kiddie-oriented paraphernalia, and—through a series of coincidental encounters that feels somewhat forced—forging an acquaintance with Alex, when the boy, desperate to escape Michael’s oppressive close parenting, turns to “the man in gray slacks,” who appears to be his only friend. The decisive action, which begins at a skating rink and climaxes in Ted’s dingy apartment, will scare the bejeezus out of anyone who has ever been a parent. In the novel’s “resolution,” we realize that Sacks is a hopeless recidivist, planning future abductions, and that Alex is scarred in ways that have already begun to define his future.

Risky material met head on, in a courageous book that displays Galef’s considerable skills quite brilliantly. Prepare yourself for a rough ride—but don’t miss this one.

Pub Date: Aug. 30, 2006

ISBN: 1-57962-131-7

Page Count: 280

Publisher: Permanent Press

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 2006

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HOW NOT TO HATE YOUR HUSBAND AFTER KIDS

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.

Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Pub Date: March 21, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017

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PERMISSION TO FEEL

UNLOCKING THE POWER OF EMOTIONS TO HELP OUR KIDS, OURSELVES, AND OUR SOCIETY THRIVE

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.

We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Celadon Books

Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019

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