I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT

Malachi “Kai” Michaelides wants to come out as gay at school, but his closeted best friend, Matt, fears the consequences of the attention it would draw to them both.

Matt’s religious parents are homophobic, so he doesn’t plan to come out until after he’s left for university. British Kai’s Greek Cypriot single mum works two jobs while pursuing her master’s degree, so while she’s supportive of Kai’s queerness, she relies heavily on the metaphorical village to care for him: Kai’s Jamaican paternal granny, his yiayia and bapou, and chosen family Theía Estélla and her nonbinary child, Vass, Kai’s other best friend. Kai dreams of being a writer, and Atta’s verse lends a memoirist’s tone to the story. Supporting characters float in and out, including the kids at Kai and Matt’s bouldering youth squad, teachers at their London school who are realistically flawed, and a group of Black schoolmates called The Boys who take Kai and Matt under their wing. The resolution of the book’s romance plotline feels a bit rushed, but Atta touches in gentle, sensitive ways on many significant themes, including consent, sexual assault, forced outing, racial profiling, anger management and therapy, and the unique experiences Kai has as a biracial teen with a multicultural heritage. Some untranslated Greek dialogue is easily understood in context.

An emotional novel in verse that reads like an actual teen’s diary.