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IF AN ARMADILLO WENT TO A RESTAURANT

A good joke that lost its way a bit.

What do animals eat? In question-and-answer form, the human narrator compares animal restaurant orders with her own.

This lengthy joke follows a repetitive pattern. There’s a question that includes the usual locomotive pattern and habitat of one of nine interesting creatures. A silly answer is followed by a more sensible one. “If a RATTLESNAKE slithered through a desert cafeteria, what would she choose?” Not “[b]eans and rice” but “[s]everal rodents and a lizard.” Sea turtles crawl, butterflies flutter, wallabies hop, hedgehogs “[stop] by a forest food court,” ostriches run, and octopuses swim; the animals are of both sexes. The only variation in the pattern is in the pacing. Some questions and answers occupy a spread; others include the page turn. Beginning with the spaghetti-twirling armadillo on the cover, Wood’s quirky creatures add to the humor, which might well spur listeners to make up some menus of their own. The author and illustrator have their giraffe eating from wild apricot trees rather than the acacias that are so prevalent in the giraffes’ savanna habitat. While their diet includes wild apricots and mimosa, acacias are at its core.

A good joke that lost its way a bit. (Picture book. 4-7)

Pub Date: July 2, 2014

ISBN: 978-1-938063-39-8

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Scarletta Press

Review Posted Online: April 29, 2014

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2014

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THE WONKY DONKEY

Hee haw.

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The print version of a knee-slapping cumulative ditty.

In the song, Smith meets a donkey on the road. It is three-legged, and so a “wonky donkey” that, on further examination, has but one eye and so is a “winky wonky donkey” with a taste for country music and therefore a “honky-tonky winky wonky donkey,” and so on to a final characterization as a “spunky hanky-panky cranky stinky-dinky lanky honky-tonky winky wonky donkey.” A free musical recording (of this version, anyway—the author’s website hints at an adults-only version of the song) is available from the publisher and elsewhere online. Even though the book has no included soundtrack, the sly, high-spirited, eye patch–sporting donkey that grins, winks, farts, and clumps its way through the song on a prosthetic metal hoof in Cowley’s informal watercolors supplies comical visual flourishes for the silly wordplay. Look for ready guffaws from young audiences, whether read or sung, though those attuned to disability stereotypes may find themselves wincing instead or as well.

Hee haw. (Picture book. 5-7)

Pub Date: May 1, 2010

ISBN: 978-0-545-26124-1

Page Count: 26

Publisher: Scholastic

Review Posted Online: Dec. 28, 2018

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DON'T LET THE PIGEON DRIVE THE SLEIGH!

A stocking stuffer par excellence, just right for dishing up with milk and cookies.

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Pigeon finds something better to drive than some old bus.

This time it’s Santa delivering the fateful titular words, and with a “Ho. Ho. Whoa!” the badgering begins: “C’mon! Where’s your holiday spirit? It would be a Christmas MIRACLE! Don’t you want to be part of a Christmas miracle…?” Pigeon is determined: “I can do Santa stuff!” Like wrapping gifts (though the accompanying illustration shows a rather untidy present), delivering them (the image of Pigeon attempting to get an oversize sack down a chimney will have little ones giggling), and eating plenty of cookies. Alas, as Willems’ legion of young fans will gleefully predict, not even Pigeon’s by-now well-honed persuasive powers (“I CAN BE JOLLY!”) will budge the sleigh’s large and stinky reindeer guardian. “BAH. Also humbug.” In the typically minimalist art, the frustrated feathered one sports a floppily expressive green and red elf hat for this seasonal addition to the series—but then discards it at the end for, uh oh, a pair of bunny ears. What could Pigeon have in mind now? “Egg delivery, anyone?”

A stocking stuffer par excellence, just right for dishing up with milk and cookies. (Picture book. 4-6)

Pub Date: Sept. 5, 2023

ISBN: 9781454952770

Page Count: 40

Publisher: Union Square Kids

Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2023

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