A smart, compassionate resource for anyone who’s ever wondered about polyamory.
Rickert and Zanin present a comprehensive guide to living and loving within a polyamorous relationship.
This thorough handbook covers all aspects of living polyamorously—from one’s initial decision to embrace the lifestyle and common communication mistakes to strategies to help tackle jealousy and set healthy boundaries. Some sections apply to readers in any kind of relationship, such as the need for a healthy sense of self-love. Other parts are specifically for those in polyamorous relationships, like a discussion about when and how often to begin new relationships. Each chapter begins with a relevant quote from sources including philosopher Hannah Arendt and performance poet Kai Cheng Thom. While there are some lists presented as bullet points, such as the imperative “Relationship Bill of Rights” (“You have the right, without shame, blame or guilt…to revoke consent to any form of intimacy at any time”), most chapters simply break down the material under headings and subheadings. While more visual learners might chafe at this, it does allow the authors to pack a substantial amount of essential information into the book’s hefty 400-plus pages. From the beginning, Rickert and Zanin allow that nonmonogamy isn’t for everyone. They never characterize the practice as being anything more than an alternative choice to what are current societal norms: “It is not the next wave in human evolution. Nor is it more enlightened, more spiritual, more progressive or more advanced than monogamy.” This nonjudgmental approach permeates the entire book, creating a safe and nurturing place for readers to explore their decision to partake (or not partake) in polyamory. Every facet of the subject is thoughtfully considered and handled with the utmost professionalism. With thorough research and a clear narrative style, Rickert and Zanin dole out facts and advice that readers can turn to again and again at any point throughout their polyamory journey.
A smart, compassionate resource for anyone who’s ever wondered about polyamory.Pub Date: Sept. 2, 2024
ISBN: 9781990869587
Page Count: 480
Publisher: Thornapple Press
Review Posted Online: July 12, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
Top Chef fans might savor this detailed account, but others will find it bland.
The Top Chef host describes her journey to new heights.
For those who don’t know, Kish is a “gay Korean adopted woman, born in Seoul, raised in Michigan” and “a chef, a character, a host, and a cultural communicator—as well as a human being with a beating heart.” Though this book covers every step of her journey, every restaurant job and television role, and also discusses her experience as an adoptee (very positive) and a queer woman (late bloomer), the storytelling is so straightforward, lacking in suspense, character development, or dialogue, that it is basically a long version of its (longish) “About the Author.” Seemingly dramatic situations are not dramatized—when she was eliminated on her first Top Chef run, she assures us that she did the best she could, and drops it. “I can spare you the gory details (bouillabaisse and big personalities were involved).” Later, she cites a belief in protecting the privacy of others to omit the story of her first relationship with a woman. With no character development, neither does the reader get to know those who fall outside the privacy zone, like her best friend, Steph, and her wife, Bianca. When she gets mad, she says things like, “It’s a gross understatement to say I was crushed, beyond frustrated, and furious with the situation.” The fact that “I’ve never been a big reader” does not come as a surprise. It is more surprising when she confesses that “I believe the universe is selective about the moments in which it introduces life-changing prospects.”
Top Chef fans might savor this detailed account, but others will find it bland.Pub Date: April 22, 2025
ISBN: 9780316580915
Page Count: 368
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Feb. 15, 2025
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2025
An ebullient nature lover’s paean to birds.
A charming bird journey with the bestselling author.
In his introduction to Tan’s “nature journal,” David Allen Sibley, the acclaimed ornithologist, nails the spirit of this book: a “collection of delightfully quirky, thoughtful, and personal observations of birds in sketches and words.” For years, Tan has looked out on her California backyard “paradise”—oaks, periwinkle vines, birch, Japanese maple, fuchsia shrubs—observing more than 60 species of birds, and she fashions her findings into delightful and approachable journal excerpts, accompanied by her gorgeous color sketches. As the entries—“a record of my life”—move along, the author becomes more adept at identifying and capturing them with words and pencils. Her first entry is September 16, 2017: Shortly after putting up hummingbird feeders, one of the tiny, delicate creatures landed on her hand and fed. “We have a relationship,” she writes. “I am in love.” By August 2018, her backyard “has become a menagerie of fledglings…all learning to fly.” Day by day, she has continued to learn more about the birds, their activities, and how she should relate to them; she also admits mistakes when they occur. In December 2018, she was excited to observe a Townsend’s Warbler—“Omigod! It’s looking at me. Displeased expression.” Battling pesky squirrels, Tan deployed Hot Pepper Suet to keep them away, and she deterred crows by hanging a fake one upside down. The author also declared war on outdoor cats when she learned they kill more than 1 billion birds per year. In May 2019, she notes that she spends $250 per month on beetle larvae. In June 2019, she confesses “spending more hours a day staring at birds than writing. How can I not?” Her last entry, on December 15, 2022, celebrates when an eating bird pauses, “looks and acknowledges I am there.”
An ebullient nature lover’s paean to birds.Pub Date: April 23, 2024
ISBN: 9780593536131
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: Jan. 19, 2024
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 2024
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