I AM THE SWARM

The arrival of magic forces a Cape Town girl to examine how she faces—and avoids—her intense feelings.

Nell Strand knew that the magic would come for her at 15, just as it had for all the women in her family before her. It arrives differently for each one: Her sister, Mora, has music in her blood; her mother’s age changes from one day to the next. Nell wields numbness as a shield against her sister’s mental illness, her English father’s neglect, and her Afrikaner mother’s unpredictability. Her own magic manifests as insects that represent the feelings she so carefully represses. Their arrival starts off harmlessly enough—joyful ladybugs when she plays the piano, black butterflies when she kisses the brown-skinned boy she calls “the antidote.” But when her lecherous music teacher stands too close, beetles appear. Gray moths flock when hopelessness sets in—and wasps swarm whenever her rage surfaces. Nell must decide how far she will go to hide from her emotions and whether she can be brave enough to face them. The novel is written in delicate, sparse, almost fragile verse that’s also richly literary. Chewins examines each of Nell’s emotions as if it’s a butterfly preserved in amber, held up to the light for careful study. The elements of magic interwoven with the very real cruelties of girlhood is a case study in successful fabulism

A beautiful, introspective slow burn of a book.