NOW EVERYBODY REALLY HATES ME

Banished to her room for being mean to her little brother at his birthday party (``I touched him hard...[and] called him a dumb head. Which I didn't mean even though it is true''), Patty Jane indulges in a gamut of predictable fantasies—she'll stay there forever; she'll exact revenge, do no chores, but still collect her allowance; she'll run away; etc. Nonetheless, when the door opens 67 minutes later, Patty Jean is available to eat ice cream—with some pride-saving stipulations. Despite the authors' substantial credentials (Saturday Night Live, Woody Allen, The New Yorker, the Harvard Lampoon, etc.), Patty Jane's monologue isn't particularly funny, though it's on target as the ruminations of an older sib in disgrace. The tone is unvaried, the situation isn't developed, and the outcome may most satisfy adults, who will foresee it. Still, entertaining, especially with the help of New Yorker cartoonist Chast's fiendishly adroit pen- and-watercolor illustrations depicting Patty Jane's fantasies in comic detail. (Picture book. 4-8)