A young girl recites a litany of offenses inflicted by her parents. Giving kisses goodbye in front of friends, a loud voice and excessive worrying are all evidence of reckless mothering. With sly humor, Feiffer details the child’s elaborate-yet-doomed plans for escape. A final, desperate appeal to the authorities results in her hapless mother’s incarceration. Dad, too, must pay his dues for such transgressions as enforcing a set bedtime, requiring a clean bedroom and the like. With glee, the child ponders a future free of parental interference. However, the veracity of the caveat “be careful what you wish for” soon becomes evident as the child envisions life on her own: “if...I have a bad dream because I went to bed hungry and without any stories and nothing to drink, there will be no one there to hug me and say, ‘It’s just a dream.’ ” Goode’s watercolor illustrations adeptly convey the wry tone of the tale, her orange-ponytailed little girl displaying a unibrow scowl as she contemplates her mother’s sins. A comical rebuttal to a familiar childhood lament. (Picture book. 4-8)