RAISING THEM

A sociologist recounts her family’s journey in gender creative parenting, a relatively new and misunderstood concept.

During her time as an educator, Myers became well versed in the research related to gender stereotypes and inequality. When she got pregnant, she and her husband decided to not disclose their child’s sex or assign a gender and to use only the gender-neutral pronouns “they/their” when discussing their child, Zoomer. As the author explains, “many of the physical, emotional, and verbal differences we see between boys and girls are largely socially constructed and reinforced through stereotypes.” By raising Zoomer without exposure to these stereotypes and expectations, they hoped they would have the freedom to discover their interests “outside the pressures of a restrictive binary” and to later self-identify. As they arose, Myers and her husband would be there to “answer their gender-related questions consciously, age appropriately, and inclusively.” Without much information available regarding gender creative parenting, the author and her husband had to trust their instincts and dig deep into what information they could find. To help others in similar situations, Myers began documenting their journey online, and she describes the encounters, both positive and negative, that they have had with family, strangers, and the media. Throughout, the author is frank and compassionate. “Stepping into the spotlight as a public advocate for gender creative parenting was terrifying,” she writes. “But I had such a conviction that gender creative parenting could contribute to changing the world for the better that I knew I had to spread the message as often and as far as I could. Being a part of this movement—being a part of creating a more inclusive world that celebrates diversity and relentlessly fights for equality—would be my greatest achievement.” Jill Soloway provides a brief foreword.

An enlightening, much-needed resource for parents hoping to raise their children without limitations.