SHOES TO DIE FOR

A drop-dead gorgeous businesswoman ends up speared by her own stiletto in a tale of fashion run amok.

Writing ad copy for Toiletmasters, dishing up Fancy Mackerel Innards for her cat Prozac, and teaching creative writing at the Shalom Retirement Home while fending off advances from retired carpet salesman Abe Goldman hardly spells fulfillment for freelance writer Jaine Austen (This Pen for Hire, 2001). So she lets her neighbor Lance cast his queer eye over her wardrobe and hustle her off to Passions, a boutique so hip most of the merchandise wouldn’t cover her left cheek. But owner Grace Lynbrook’s so taken by Jaine’s pitch to design a new ad campaign that Jaine goes home to scarf down a Pop Tart—okay, two Pop Tarts—and start writing. By the time she finishes, Grace has sold the boutique to bitchy Frenchie Ambrose, who not only snubs Jaine but fires Becky and Tyler, the sales clerks who started dating after Tyler dumped Frenchie. Jaine arrives at a seven a.m. meeting determined to salvage her campaign only to find Frenchie cut through the carotid with her Jimmy Choo knockoff. When the police haul sweet-natured Becky off in handcuffs, Jaine agrees to investigate, even if it means putting her own L.L. Bean–clad butt on the line.

A lively sense of humor and an ear for the absurd help Jaine overcome any number of setbacks and a host of fashion no-nos.