ELF HELP

From Palatini (The Wonder Worm Wars, p. 1310, etc.), a tongue-twisting tangle of cyberspeak that mars an otherwise merry tale of a mailroom elf who wants Santa's workshop to upgrade, download, and become high tech. Alfred, as a result of flunking Wrapping 101, is constantly clickety-click clicking away at his Frosty Windows program, much to the chagrin of the CEO (Chief Elf of Operations). ``Face the fax, Chief,'' says he. ``It's the new millennium! Time for Santa to surf the net. Weave a web. Dish the disk.'' The storyline, already cluttered with high-tech talk, is further entangled with puns (``It's totally yule-proof, sir!''), nods to Christmas carols and poems, idioms, hip slang, and a reference to Mikey, of Life cereal fame. Most of it will sail over the heads of readers and cause read-aloud meltdown long before Alfred's computer glitch brings Christmas to a screeching halt—that's one concept sure to be understood by all. Reed's acrylic paintings are merry and bright, infused with humor all their own. It's unfortunate for children's sharp eyes that the computer mouse is missing from three of the four scenes in which a computer is shown, even in the spread that refers to it, and hard on young techies that the Web address boasted in the subtitle fails to lead to an actual site. (Picture book. 4-7)