EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED
by Mavis Jukes
From Jukes (I'll See You in My Dreams, 1993, etc.), sixth- grade comedy vÇritÇ: Sex-educated to the max, River is awaiting her first period (which she doesn't get). She is certain that her older sister, Megan (``The Royal Queen of PMS'' and ``Her Premenstrual Majesty'') is pregnant (she's not) and doesn't notice that her mother's new baggy look conceals an unplanned middle-age pregnancy- -the ``unexpected'' of the title. Adding to the hormonal overload, River's cat is pregnant (Mom didn't get around to having her neutered). River admires classmate DB who looks ``great in his Nike T-shirt'' and who takes ``the rap for the girls'' in the class campaign to haze their decent, nice-guy teacher. It's all skin deep, but the book is occasionally hilarious, thick with teenspeak and one-liners about everything from PMS to ``Wedgie Hell.'' (Fiction. 10-13)