TMI

A blogger tells—or retells—all.

Though you know him as Perez Hilton, he was born Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. in 1978 to Cuban American parents in Miami. Shockingly dull until the celebrities begin to appear, the book, written with Eriksson and Svensson, contains surprisingly little insight about the allure of celebrity. “It’s strange, but when you’re young, you don’t think about the future at all,” writes Hilton in a typically banal passage. “As you get older, however, it’s all you ever think about.” Attempting to find his footing in the entertainment industry, he bounced between New York and Los Angeles “from fiasco to fiasco, with no idea that I’m at the start of a successful career.” His lucky break occurred when, working as a receptionist at the E! channel, he witnessed Janice Dickinson’s assistant stealing pills from her purse. “I stared at him, thinking, Man, this is wild!....Right there and then,” writes Hilton, “I felt an immediate urge to write about what I had just seen on my blog.” Soon thereafter, his blog was dubbed one of the most hated in Hollywood. By the mid-2000s, he had solidified his brand, coining celebrity nicknames (“Brangelina”) and defacing their online photos with crude drawings and captions. Around 2007, he writes, “the tone of my website went from bitchy to downright nasty. The more snarky names I gave the celebrities, the more penises or coke or boogers I drew on pictures of them, the more people visited my page. By this point I was getting between seven and eight million unique hits a day.” After the “hate storm” unleashed by his clueless “It Gets Better” video—he had failed to see the connection between the suicide of gay Rutgers student Tyler Clementi and his own ruthless outing of well-known people—he changed his tune. A little. On the whole, the narrative is fairly tame and unremarkable, featuring numerous pull-quotes and photos without captions, the cutest of which shows Hilton with his children.

A tepid text for die-hard fans only.