ALL THE WORST HUMANS

A breakneck-pace memoir of a career drumming up publicity for some of the worst human beings in the public eye.

The cliche of public relations client horror stories involves trashed hotel rooms and drunken shenanigans, but Elwood—a publicity “arsonist” for publicity firms serving tyrants, war criminals, the government of Qatar, and a host of wrong-side-of-the-law American politicians—has all of those beat. His debut memoir opens in 2018, as he opens his door to armed FBI agents, wondering which of his many extralegal actions from 20 years in PR had brought them there. Beginning his career as an intern for Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, a position acquired with a fake ID, he went on to work years in private PR, where he drank heavily, struggled with depression and bipolar disorder, and plunged into debt despite a generous salary. His client list included, among others, a “murderers’ row of foreign dictators”—e.g., Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi's adult son, whom Elwood babysat through a wild weekend in Las Vegas punctuated with strippers and duffel bags full of cash. In one memorable anecdote, the author writes about “masterminding a trade war between Antigua and the United States” out of vengeance for an old client. Despite the Jason Bourne persona, Elwood reveals himself as a fairly complex character, falling head over heels for the woman who would become his wife and traveling the world hobnobbing with human monsters while secreting an Opus the Penguin plush toy in his luggage for comfort. Exciting and full of bluster, this thrilling tale is hard to look away from—despite the fact that, as the author admits, his misdeeds are “unsettling, like watching someone get mugged in broad daylight and doing nothing to stop it.”

A rowdy, dirty-pleasure story of how it feels to cater to unsavory people for money and excitement.