Combine one talking dog, Santa Claus, his reindeer Rudolph, who has the flu, lizards that change their names to fit a climate, four children, and a variety of talking objects and appliances; add an irreverent tone and cheeky style, and presto: a nonsensical and nonlinear story based on the belief in Santa. Rover (The Giggler Treatment, 2000) subs for Rudolph and with the aid of the aforementioned, the race is on to get all the presents delivered in time. Kids ingrained with Saturday morning cartoons may find this hilarious but the irreverence, bathroom humor, illogic of constant interruptions (labeled as such) in the narrative, and admonishments like Warning directed to the reader will be tiresome to adults. The one sentence of Chapter Six claims: “I don’t want to be Chapter Six.” Constellations are named “Teacher’s Armpit” and “Monkey’s Bum.” Pop references and British terms abound, such as mad cows, Guinness, nappies, Rover Bond (as in James), and, of course, Harry Potter. A glossary offers smart-alecky explanations. Major promotion will hype the seasonal aspect and the large type and brief chapters may lure fans of Doyle’s “poo-on-shoe” humor. This spoof on Christmas needs to restring its lights to make it less dependent on the distracting gimmicks and silly devices and focus on the goofy, outlandish appeal of a talking dog leading Santa’s sleigh across the world. (Fiction. 8-11)