Eye to Eye Volume 3

A detailed guidebook, the third in a series, on how to make more conscious decisions as a parent.

While the first two volumes of this series were spearheaded by Lichtman’s wife and co-author, Gloria J. Walther, Lichtman (co-author Eye to Eye Volume 2, 2011) takes the lead here in a book that’s half parenting advice, half self-help. As with the first two volumes, in which parents were taught ways to help their children learn by understanding the consequences of their behaviors, the focus here is on helping parents navigate their own thought processes. In Lichtman’s view, the key to successful parenting is to change one’s unconscious habits, that seemingly never-ending chatter in one’s mind, so as to effectively isolate and solve everyday parenting problems. With a sympathetic tone, he writes, “Given that your Unconscious Mind does all the doing, unless you can find a way to consciously choose what your Unconscious does, you are consciously out of control.” While this may sound familiar to readers who’ve studied meditation, the ideas here are presented in a relatively new and fresh way. For instance, rather than simply encouraging readers to slow down and visualize a different outcome for how to deal with, say, a procrastinating child, Lichtman argues for a more well-rounded approach, something he calls creating “imaginary experiences,” in which a parent imagines a solution using a variety of senses: “An Imaginary Experience can include visual (images), auditory (sounds), kinesthetic (intuitive feelings, touch, movement, pressure, temperature), olfactory (smells) and gustatory (taste) aspects.” Many of his suggestions involve homing in on specific situations and reimagining them through writing as a way of slowing down and consciously framing a particular issue. While the book feels slightly repetitive at times, the author does a fine job of explaining his theories in clear-cut, accessible language. Although the science behind his ideas could be presented more thoroughly, the anecdotes he uses to help readers along are generally very effective.

A solid, nonjudgmental advice book for parents.