THE FAMILY DYNAMIC

A New York Times journalist explores factors that contribute to sibling success.

In this engaging exploration, Dominus says the impetus for writing her book formed many years ago. Following a childhood visit to a friend’s house, she explains, “I had been given a window into just how varied family culture could be regarding expectations and the cultivation of skills.” Dominus was further inspired by the success of the Brontë sisters, a subject of discussion throughout. The author offers an intimate look into the lives of six families from various locations and walks of life whose children had all achieved high levels of success, in an attempt to find the commonalities that exist among them. While the author speaks to the actions she feels contributed to the success of these children, she also discusses actions she feels families should not take. One suggestion Dominus offers is to try to “get out of your children’s way.” As the author explains, “Various studies, over the years, have shown that when parents intervene, for example, as a child is trying to finish a puzzle, the extra help is demotivating for that child.” Dominus empathizes, “For parents invested in their children’s success, it can be excruciating to watch them fail—or even wait it out to see whether their children will succeed on their own.” Among other suggestions are setting high yet reasonable expectations, exposing children to highly educated role models, and creating a culturally rich environment. Despite the best efforts of caregivers, Dominus contends, one must not forget the role of chance in the success of children. “The coin toss is the outside world asserting the power of randomness on even the most strong family culture.”

Compelling advice for those seeking guidance in setting up their children for success.