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MY HEART IS NOT ASLEEP

A morose, bewitching elegy to love.

Awards & Accolades

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A collection of poems about love enduring through illness and impending loss.

Love is patient, but is it patient enough to withstand a miserable decade of Alzheimer’s disease? In his melancholic collection, Thomas’ love for his wife comes alive in small details and shared moments—the very same moments that she, his muse, is robbed of as her mind and body degenerate. There is a loose chronology to the poems, which are organized in subtly titled sections that belie their intensity: “Heart-Stirred” represents the rosy period of love, “Onset” begins the descent into heartsickness, and “At Sea” limns the bereft acceptance of loss. The tone continually shifts throughout, from the prismatic joy of the couple’s first meeting to the grim diagnosis as the work charts the ways in which partnership becomes caregiving as the afflicted wife is eventually exiled to “the little boat / of her hospital bed.” As Thomas grows increasingly unable to connect to his wife, he becomes more involved with the natural world around him, as seen in “My Returning”: “a flower at the highest blossoming in the moment she / turns toward death. I am, I am, I am not separate…I am sitting in an oak / tree watching.” Thomas’ specificity breathes all the shades of love into these verses, from the erotic “My Wife’s Last O” (“rocks me warm and mesmerized, / presses my skull against her mound / and pelvic bone and her hips rise just / so gently”) to the mournful “The Sirens, Before Dawn” (“the tiny hairs of your forehead, / trace their way to your temple hollow, my / breath warming the scent of your skin…in that other life we had, that gone cosmos”). The reverence for granular details—temple bones, an embrace in the dark, cleaning and feeding routines—conveys the depth of Thomas’ feelings. This work is a moving reckoning with the value and cost of love.

A morose, bewitching elegy to love.

Pub Date: June 1, 2024

ISBN: 9798989948703

Page Count: 70

Publisher: Moonpath Press

Review Posted Online: Aug. 14, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2024

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ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE

Top Chef fans might savor this detailed account, but others will find it bland.

The Top Chef host describes her journey to new heights.

For those who don’t know, Kish is a “gay Korean adopted woman, born in Seoul, raised in Michigan” and “a chef, a character, a host, and a cultural communicator—as well as a human being with a beating heart.” Though this book covers every step of her journey, every restaurant job and television role, and also discusses her experience as an adoptee (very positive) and a queer woman (late bloomer), the storytelling is so straightforward, lacking in suspense, character development, or dialogue, that it is basically a long version of its (longish) “About the Author.” Seemingly dramatic situations are not dramatized—when she was eliminated on her first Top Chef run, she assures us that she did the best she could, and drops it. “I can spare you the gory details (bouillabaisse and big personalities were involved).” Later, she cites a belief in protecting the privacy of others to omit the story of her first relationship with a woman. With no character development, neither does the reader get to know those who fall outside the privacy zone, like her best friend, Steph, and her wife, Bianca. When she gets mad, she says things like, “It’s a gross understatement to say I was crushed, beyond frustrated, and furious with the situation.” The fact that “I’ve never been a big reader” does not come as a surprise. It is more surprising when she confesses that “I believe the universe is selective about the moments in which it introduces life-changing prospects.”

Top Chef fans might savor this detailed account, but others will find it bland.

Pub Date: April 22, 2025

ISBN: 9780316580915

Page Count: 368

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Feb. 15, 2025

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2025

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THE BACKYARD BIRD CHRONICLES

An ebullient nature lover’s paean to birds.

A charming bird journey with the bestselling author.

In his introduction to Tan’s “nature journal,” David Allen Sibley, the acclaimed ornithologist, nails the spirit of this book: a “collection of delightfully quirky, thoughtful, and personal observations of birds in sketches and words.” For years, Tan has looked out on her California backyard “paradise”—oaks, periwinkle vines, birch, Japanese maple, fuchsia shrubs—observing more than 60 species of birds, and she fashions her findings into delightful and approachable journal excerpts, accompanied by her gorgeous color sketches. As the entries—“a record of my life”—move along, the author becomes more adept at identifying and capturing them with words and pencils. Her first entry is September 16, 2017: Shortly after putting up hummingbird feeders, one of the tiny, delicate creatures landed on her hand and fed. “We have a relationship,” she writes. “I am in love.” By August 2018, her backyard “has become a menagerie of fledglings…all learning to fly.” Day by day, she has continued to learn more about the birds, their activities, and how she should relate to them; she also admits mistakes when they occur. In December 2018, she was excited to observe a Townsend’s Warbler—“Omigod! It’s looking at me. Displeased expression.” Battling pesky squirrels, Tan deployed Hot Pepper Suet to keep them away, and she deterred crows by hanging a fake one upside down. The author also declared war on outdoor cats when she learned they kill more than 1 billion birds per year. In May 2019, she notes that she spends $250 per month on beetle larvae. In June 2019, she confesses “spending more hours a day staring at birds than writing. How can I not?” Her last entry, on December 15, 2022, celebrates when an eating bird pauses, “looks and acknowledges I am there.”

An ebullient nature lover’s paean to birds.

Pub Date: April 23, 2024

ISBN: 9780593536131

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: Jan. 19, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 2024

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