THE QUEST: IN SEARCH OF ME

Gardella reconnects with an old friend during the Covid-19 lockdown and recollects her life in this debut epistolary memoir.

In 2020, the 75-year-old Californian author had been a widow for three years. During the pandemic, she found herself with time on her hands, so she decided to track down a man she’d known 60 years before. (He remains unnamed throughout the book.) When they knew each other, she was only 16 years old and he was 17, and they dated for a year.The author not only managed to locate him, but also began a regular correspondence, and in this book, she produces 29 letters that she wrote to him coupled with 20 drafts of unsent missives; they’re accompanied by a running commentary that includes descriptions of and occasional quotes from his responses. Their discussions are expansive and cover everything from the nature of reading and writing to the deaths of loved ones and the blessings of solitude, and they display impressive intellectual range. Gardella is the more enthusiastic correspondent—she writes far more frequently than her interlocutor, and he’s said to feel “overwhelmed” when she sends him packages or attempts to arrange a meeting. At one point, she suggests that they collaborate on a book, and after some indecisiveness, he declines. Gardella develops what she describes as a “passion” for writing the letters and even characterizes the correspondence as an addiction. One can’t help but admire the author’s unguarded candor as well her philosophical vitality, and she makes a compelling case for the importance of letters in general. However, these are often narrowly personal letters that don’t seem composed for public consumption; in fact, it’s never clear why the author decided to have them published. She notes more than once that she tends to “ramble,” and it appears that she uses writing as a way to think out loud. Of course, this is a perfectly reasonable reason to write, but it’s unlikely that readers who don’t know the author will be gripped by these musings.

A philosophical collection of personal letters that’s unlikely to command the interest of a wide audience.